It is the words of my maternal grandfather, Hymie Edelson, that helped me understand my father’s death, “You cannot die if you have not lived.” Jerry Goldstein lived 93 wonderful years.

He was the leader of the band; she was the shy girl with ribbons in her hair. Meeting my mother Doris at age 15 was the moment she stole his heart. They would get married January 3, 1954, when he was on leave from the Airforce.

The tallest guy in any room, Jerry was handsome, a suave dancer, a jubilant trumpet player, a graceful athlete, a pioneering physicist, avid volunteer, and a talented craftsman, ‘the man with golden hands’ Grandpa Hymie called him.  

Jerry and Doris would raise a family building a lifetime of memories with my sister Carolyn and me, Shelley, grandchildren Jett and Kitt and Anna.

Husband, father, grandfather, brother, brother-in-law, uncle, cousin, friend: his community.

Roman, Dean Martin, Easy Aces, Rocket Man, Einstein, Joe Friday: his nicknames. 

The2ofUS: his password.

A romantic, he never missed an Anniversary, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day or my mother’s recent birthday reminding me to get her a special card. 

Ten weeks in skilled nursing, there wasn’t a day when Doris came to visit that he didn’t reach for her hand. The love of his life, it was beautiful to witness. 

Alzheimer’s was stealing his memory, but it did not rob him of his charmed smile or kindness.

Slow stroll with his walker, he’d shuffle to the side to hold the door open for others.

Consultations with doctors and nurses, they’d put their evaluations aside fascinated to know more about his early days blazing the trail for aerospace technology. 

Any visit with Dad, he’d greet us with a kiss, or an arm wrapped around the shoulder, and ‘Boy is it good to see you!’, ‘Do you have any chocolate?’ and ‘I love you’.

On November 17, 2023 he took his final breath and was transported to his beloved San Diego. He and my mother chose to donate their bodies to UC San Diego Body Donor Program, and have their ashes scattered across the ocean at Point Loma, California. A vista where they both enjoyed many happy moments.

In lieu of a funeral or shiva, flowers or food, we invite you to honor my father’s life with a donation to the charity of your choice. That is what he encouraged unconditionally, your choice.

Many of you from Jerry’s community have shared memories, and the healing has begun for our family with each day after his passing. If you have a memory, please let us know using the form at the bottom of this page.